Wilderness Road

The Lord has been speaking so much to me lately. Its crazy, all the different things going on. But one thing that has been the heaviest is the call to live for more of Him and less of me.

I've been hearing this over and over to die to myself, live freely in Him, to be transformed in His likeness and to completely give myself up to Him. But He isnt just speaking this to me, its being spoken to the church. The Lord is releasing His call right now. He's calling those who will sign up for his army, His movement, to be a part of the radical outpouring He is getting ready to do. And He's been bringing me into the preparation process.

As I write this I am hearing the same message I've been hearing for the last few weeks. This is the 5th or 6th time I've heard someone talk about giving up everything, laying down your life, and desires for Him. Living with knowledge that Jesus Himself is our inheritance and nothing else and how amazing that is.

He started first with putting it on my heart to not cut my hair. As I read up on taking a Nazarite vow I found that it is about taking a vow to sanctify one's life and set themself apart unto to God.

Then I just sensed that He was in the process of transforming me, and bringing me into a deeper level of my calling. Something I can't do in my own ability but can yeild to in the spirit and something I can assert when opportunity arises.

I feel like things I wanted before that had meaning to me, don't have the same meaning anymore. My identity and worth are not in how hard I work, or who affirms me or doesn't like me. I feel like I can go deeper into the heart of the Lord but it might be a lonely place.

A friend told me today, its good to be in the desert. I didn't even realize I am heading into the desert. Or am I in the desert already? Hmmmm. Could be.

Ooohhh, I just had a blogation (revelation while blogging). Yeah, I am, in the desert. I been feeling and hearing over and over that "nothing else can satisfy." Only the Lord, my God, my maker, my love can satisfy me. I been looking around and really I don't see anything that can satisfy.

Yeah, I'm in the desert. The desert is totally where the blessing is, so I'm good with that. It really helps to know where you're at. Duh, been trying to look all city, mainstreet and I'm all dusty and sandy. Pah-shah. Now I can just chill and mellow that everything is dusty. Ha, ha. Helps to know where you're at.