Last night, I went to Murphy's Irish Pub to say goodbye to my ex-boyfriend from college. He is moving to California for a job. It was interesting. Its been just a little more than 10 years since we broke up and he is so different. Now he has short hair, says some is gray even, smokes cigarettes and seems much more comfortable with himself.
I met a group of his friends and they were really neat people. I had a great time. Another of his ex-girlfriend's showed up also. She and I get along fine. We never got close or anything but there isn't any weird jealousy between us. I think there was some tension when she and he were dating but not now. Very strange that there was not bitterness or anything that is so common in most ex situations.
His friends kept asking, so "how do you guys know eachother?" I just would say we went to college together. He threw in a teaser, "I used to pack her on the handlebars of my bike around campus." "Yes, he was my personal chauffer on his cruiser bike." I replied. They just looked back and forth at us, knowing there was a private joke they didn't get.
I was thinking before I went that I don't want to keep calling him my ex anymore. I mean enough time has passed that he is just a friend. Shouldn't there be a expiration date on some titles? It's not like we got married and we are such different people now.
He was all stoked to move a few months ago because he is seeing this girl who is living in Seattle, and they'd be much closer than they are now. However, last night I found out she is moving back to Hawaii next Spring for law school and he'll be up there. It just sounded really messed up.
About quarter to 10 o'clock, I realized how late it was and that I initially wanted to stay for a just a little while. I was having such a great time talking with his friends, I didn't notice the time.
So around this time, I notice my ex is not around and they are all talking about what a great girl he's dating, when they met her and how one of the guys told him they should get married. Another guy agreed and said she would probably marry him. I sat there super uncomfortable. I so didn't want to be there for that. I almost felt that they if knew I was an ex they would'vee refrained from this conversation for my sake. Maybe I should've told them earlier when they asked. I couldn't even think them harsh or cruel for their words because they didn't know I was an ex.
I was really happy for him, and at the same time I was reminded that I don't have anything close to somone to marry.
At a slight pause in the conversation, I piped up and ask where he is and they say he's outside smoking a cigarette, so I took the opportunity to make and exit and say goodnite. I went outside and caught him and another of our friends from college and said goodnight and wished him luck. He was quite sauced but manageable. He gave me one of many leis on he had and gave me a big hug.
I walked up the street, alone to the parking garage. Just the feeling of walking alone, knowing there is no one for me to walk with at all, really sucked. I know there is someone out there to walk with me, he's just not here yet... sigh...
I checked my phone and some friends called so I called them back. They were in Waikiki at the Ho'olaule'a street party. So I met up with them and was so glad to not go home and be alone. Thank God for friends and beer.
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