The Point of Honesty

Honesty is a virtue. Being honest to become virtuous results not in virtue but instead in rejection.

Honesty in itself really is not a virtue, it is only in the context of something else. No one calls the confessed murderer virtuous. Yes, George Washington is considered virtuous but not because he confessed only to chopping down the cherry tree, but because he could not tell a lie.

The virtue of honesty is not awarded to a persons character because of a one time event. It is the continued choice that person makes, in various circumstances, to be honest. Each day and situation warrants a different approach and a wise decision to be made.

A boy I recently met with, only twice, told me he was just being honest with me. He told me about two women he saw where he lived before and how he would not sleep with this one and that he could sleep with that one. He continued to volunteer information about how if he wanted sex it was no problem and he could just call this girl and so on and so on. I sat there wondering why he was telling me these things. Does he talk to all women like this? And what is his point in telling me this?

I told him I was very conservative and that I would not be having sex with anyone until I'm married. After a few questions he graciously stated that he would change his thoughts about having sex with me. He was doing me a favor. I left laughing and on a postive note, but a bit puzzled.

Later I emailed him that I didnt think it'd be wise for us to hang out anymore because of what he said. He explained I misunderstood him and that he was just being honest.

What was the point to be so honest? To show me how he thinks, for me to get to know him better?

Upon pondering on honesty I think it should be unto something greater. Honesty for the sake of honesty is like reading an editorial and leaving the reader to decide if they agree or not.

But honesty between two people should build the reationship, encourage the other and reveal vulnerability. These things cannot be attained with someone after their first meeting. Honesty between two individuals results in intimacy. You can't make intimacy happen, it just does.

Too much honesty, too soon, will result in awkwardness and straight up rejection.

We live in a complex world that rewards virtues to those who know how to attain them. Using virtuous lables to cover one's lack of wisdom or character can only fool those who've never seen the real thing.